When I’m gone

I love reading memoirs, peoples real stories.

I love imagining my own.

I hope the people that love me most aren’t around to see me die, because I hope they’ve passed peacefully before me.

But if they are, I hope they’re not sad. Because dust to dust. It’s all part of it. We made Bernadette (and now Henry), our greatest achievements now let’s go on. 

I hope they talk about places and people and music I loved.

I hope there’s a party in Peterborough and I hope the Weber brothers play. 

I hope feeling good again by Robert earl keen is played, and maybe it will be in the daytime, not the night time. The night they drove old Dixie down.

If the dead just go on living, well there's nothing left to fear. I guess the dead just go on living, at the darkest edge of space. - Waxatchee, St.Cloud

And maybe someone can mention that my favourite place on this planet is Daniels harbour, and I only spent a couple of days there on that trip 8 years ago (2011) but I just knew it was the most beautiful place I’d been. And I felt a sense of history there.

And I hope they talk about how much I love graphite road, and that silly bible camp. I just loved all the love and all the people and I was the perfect age for it. And all the boys. And holly. 

And I hope they talk about Laives and Bolzano, and I hope some of my loved ones get to visit there someday because it’s such a wonderful part of the world.

And I hope my little daughter and son are as wide eyed and madly in love with their life as I feel I am.

And Calgary.

Calgary gave me so much without asking for anything in return. It gave me a family away from home, a place to live, a great career, a dream come true in my filmmaking, a lost love, a new love and children, a family.  I never imagined someone as perfect as them could come into my world. 

And an ability to start over in July 2016. And of course Martin, who helped me to start over.

And a party at The Plaza out here would be appropriate. Two parties please.

That’s all.

And some cake. White cake.

Its silly and from a movie but I feel it’s appropriate to reference American beauty. It’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. 

And I hope no one is mad about how i died. Because in a hundred years we will all be dead, equally dead, and it doesn’t matter how one person goes vs another person because it’s all the same in the end. 

And then I think about Ryan’s memorial and I wonder if I got it right. And I think we did.