Saskatchewan tick bacteria blues

 I was concentrating so much on the virus I was sideswiped by a bacteria. My family doctor had the wisdom to advise me that there are many different possible causes for my symptoms. She had seen people like me before, desperate for treatment, so they’ll grab onto whatever diagnosis they can get. 

But from July until November I was a walking mess of distraction, as I searched my brain for an explanation. 

I was being looked at by two really smart doctors, my family physician and a naturopathic doctor. 3 months of testing and appointments went by before I remembered the tick bite. I could see the alarm go off in their eyes when i said it. They didn’t say very much, just wrote something down and suggested we test for Lyme. But something shifted. 

Even after I tested negative for Lyme I could see the weariness in their faces. They weren’t convinced. I didn’t understand it then but I do now. Provincial testing is inadequate.

I remember a phone call I took in the driver seat of my car while Henry slept. It was my doctor urging me to do private testing for Lyme. She couldn't say in so many words why private was necessary but I should've trusted and believed her and her clinical wisdom. I told her it was $600-$6000, and she said if can afford it, I should do it. Instead, I latched onto the first diagnosis I’d decided on and promptly forgot that conversation. It would be two more months before I’d revisit the idea that this was caused by a tick. 

My experience with doctors and this disease is incredibly unique. Most people struggle with the healthcare system and this disease from day 1.That’s not to say I didn’t struggle with it - the false-negative Lyme test was a failure on their part- but like I said before, I was lucky to have very smart, very caring women who vouched for me and stood by me as we navigated this diagnosis. The more common story is this: Doctor diminishes patient, implies the symptoms are in part, psychological, because this particular disease is a bit of a chameleon, and doctor can’t figure it out, especially with inadequate testing.

Not for me. 

I was lucky enough to have an appointment with a naturopath for the first time in my life two weeks after I was bit by the tick. That was the luckiest part of this whole story. She treated my symptoms from day 1.

The biggest impact this has had is that I have not been a very present mother. I have been distracted as I struggle to understand why my hands and arms are failing me in everything I do. Even as I speak this into my phone, rather than type. As my body tries to make breast milk despite the hard work of fighting a battle inside it. 

My biggest worry, my constant worry, is if my milk is safe, and no one can agree on the answer to that. 

So baby and me spend our days together, mostly pretending we are fine and this is fine, but every once in awhile I get a glaring reminder of what’s actually happening inside. As we wait and see what the professionals tell us to do next. 

This was where the little bugger got me.