Resentment

Brene Brown says resentment is just jealousy; jealousy of the person who is making you feel resentful of them. 

With that, I am jealous of the freedom certain men have to live their life without burden. Not my partner, specifically, but all of them. To have a woman they can reach out to, daily, to do the thing for them, must be so nice. 

Why should he have a working cell phone that's charged, with access to the internet, email, and all the same information as her have to keep his handy, within reach, to receive the calls and texts and confirmations of appointments. 

Why should he have to know who,what,why,when, and where everything is happening within the family when he can just look up at a calendar (if he feels like it) and see it right in front of him. 

Why should he have to register for that event 2-3 weeks in advance, or confirm that appointment in that email he didn't read. Why should he tell people where he will be and when, when he can just come and go from work to home as he sees fit and with no urgency. 
 
Why should he learn how to login to things, see how they work, figure out what is owed and what is owing, when she simply could. 

Why should he have a list of things to be done, when he could just call her anytime he feels and have her ryhme them off again and again. Why should he remember anything - when he could just make her tell him, step by step, how it is done.

Why should he see a therapist, when he could just unload his ungratefulness and hate onto her anytime he feels like it, feeling lighter everytime. 

Why should he comprehend that she has not one, not two, not three but four more responsibilities than he does every minute of everyday. Why should he adhere to anything put in place by society, if he doesn't feel like it? 

Your freedom is our weight to carry, and it's heavier than we let on,  because we've always carried it.

Our daughters watch us with resentment, angry at us for not saying more, doing more, standing up to it because they see their future in us. They tell themselves they will say it, they will not allow it, and in turn, they resent us for it. And so it goes.