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Showing posts from October, 2016

We made a Carolyn Mark Music Video for GET IT UP! Song for the Calgary Stampede xox

Antidepressantsssss

Before I knew I had to quit drinking, I decided a good way to level out all the hangover anxiety was to take antidepressants. My roommate was a total trainwreck, and he took them, so what could possibly go wrong? I knew it was cheating.
I knew it was a distraction from the real problem.
I knew my boyfriend wouldn't go along with it so I didn't tell him.
My doctor would have never gone for it either (she's super smart and invested in my well-being). But thankfully she was away on maternity leave and her replacement didn't bat an eye at my request. Within three hours of taking my first pill (an SSRI) I was in love.
A new drug. It muted all the bad things.
Like the commercials on the car radio, the urge to go check on my hair and makeup every 2 hours at work, the rage at the guy who cut me off on the way to work. I didn't have a care in the world. My insecurities went out the window. How could they fit all that confidence in one teeny tiny pill? I started saying hi to people in…